Last year, 2018, was difficult mentally and physically for me. I suffered from tremendous lower back pain. It made training and competing nearly impossible.
Everything was tight and caused my hips to rotate which, in turn, pinched a nerve in my back.
I realize, now, that my IT band (lliotibial band), psoas muscle, and sciatic nerve had been messed up.
I spent few months with the chiropractor trying to help resolve my issues with the pain. I have also had a few deep tissue massages—which was a very painful experience. The struggle with constant pain and not achieving any true relief really got in my head. I wanted to keep training but everything hurt.
I decided to try and compete in December. I thought-even if I did my bare minimum-I could still be on the top ten list of Arkansas women.
Dropping weight to compete was intense. I dropped from 131.4 pounds to 110 pounds in the course of a week. The morning of the weigh in, I took 3 hot baths before we left home. I couldn’t have a drink of water or bite of food. When we got to our motel, I took 2 more baths. Weigh-in wasn’t until 5 p.m. By then I was starving and dying of thirst.
After I weighed-in we drove an hour so I could get receive I.V. fluids to get rehydrated. I carb loaded the rest of the night. Everything seemed to be going as planned.
As I was warming up for the competition, I was “in my head.” I felt the weight of everyone expecting to see something really great. I was very nervous and didn’t want to let anyone down-especially my husband. He had put so much time and effort into getting me ready.
Once the competition started, I couldn’t get passed my mind. I missed my first squat, got my second, but missed my third. Then I bombed all of my bench attempts. It was over. It was such a humbling experience.
The worse part was that I didn't know what happened. Although we had a plan, the plan failed. Even though I failed and cried in front of the world, my people were behind me.
Winning is great and so much easier. Failing is hard. It took me a few weeks to regain my confidence. However, the positive side of this is I have learned how to better stretch my weak areas. I do daily stretches before I even put weight in my hands. I am learning to be a better, stronger me.
We have to use our failures to overcome our weaknesses. Without bad days, the good days wouldn’t seem as good. So for now, I will just keep my head up and try my best.